I am not individualist. I don’t understand how people can do it. I feel uncomfortable when I feel someone else is feeling bad, and feel the urge to help. To make them feel better, so I can feel good. I can’t do it without you. I can’t be happy if you are not. And I recently discovered how annoyed I feel when it is me the one that doesn’t feel right and nobody seems to care. People continues with their lifes. I feel apart. I then start my three stages:
1.sadness or anger for not being helped. It is followed by isolation and the feeling I don’t belong. I feel deeply sad.
2.then I will accept it is my own fault to feel like this. Will accept others opinions, that is, I will put others above me. When they tell me I am wrong for thinking they don’t care I will give them credit and trick myself and tell myself I was wrong and I will also feel bad for thinking bad things about others. My self esteem decreases on this stage.
3.recover. I will start feeling better. Once you are in your deepest you can only go up. And that’s what I do.
I numb myself telling myself I was wrong. That I have to be better. I stopped listening to my intuition.