I am starting to be happy again.
There are things that help me at this time:
- music (always). I used to listen to 50-60 jazz and rock&roll, blues and other types of music. Now I am listening to most recent music. No more jazz and sad music. Now is direct and passionate, energetic.
- yoga. Makes me feel I matter, I am important. Feeling I am taking care of myself is a great feeling. I am terrible at sports, yoga is very gentle.
- listen to my body. For years I ignored pains and aches or I put them aside when I had other things to do. I felt frustrated for not being able to do things properly because I was feeling weak or ill. Now I stop and listen.
- I put myself first (well I try to…)
- listen to my mind and emotions. And limit myself. I know people and psychologists say not to avoid situations that make you anxious because you won’t face the fear that way and will be stuck forever by not facing it. Well, I say, I am taking care of myself and right now I don’t need a bunch of tears and a mild panic attack.
- what I mean in the point above is to put limits in my activities. There was a time when I was very social and was surrounded by friends, etc. Now these kind of situations lead into increase my insecurity and my low self esteem. I am trying to do what is good for me and to avoid feeling this way. If that means being less sociable then I will be less sociable.
- Being organised, tidying up and cleaning. It is a joyful task, I forgot how much I liked it.
- It leads me to the rest of the points. Organise photo albums. The folders of my computer. My time, travels, etc. Organisation is the most important thing in life (I sound OCD, I’m not :P)
- I found what brings joy to my live. Help others. In a group therapy I’ve been, me having the same problem as the other girls I feel able to help them somehow. I felt stronger sometimes. I think helping makes me strong.
- The Chimp Paradox. Please read this book. I am on it now and so far is helping me a lot.
- Reading other books. Listen to other histories, other people. It makes you feel you are not alone, and sometimes that you are not so much important. It takes a weight out of you.
- Prettying myself up. Before I used to say I don’t have time to do my hair or wear make up. Even with clothes, I didn’t pay too much attention. Now I make time and I feel so much better when my hair and face is done, I feel pretty and more confident when I go out.
- Stop feeling to bad about myself.
- Continue doing good things for me, creative and helpful things.
Sadness is beautiful
but only when it is calm.
No one likes an hysterical,
nervous sad person.
These sad people are just
trying to get your help.
And they scare you away.
Won’t be until the moment they feel completely alone
when they stop crying,
being desperate for help.
They will become hopeless.
They will become beautiful.
[This is tragic.
But, is there anything that is not tragic
in this world we live?]