That’s what I say, what I am told to do. I think many bad things during the day, I tell to myself to stop listening to my thoughts. And this act itself is crazy. Telling me to live against my insides, what I think.
Sometimes I feel you don’t care for me, and that you are bad. I know you are not, but I live for a period of time with my belly aching, scared of you. It passes once I’m close to you and hold you. I feel protected with you, and at the same time I feel threatened. And I know it makes no sense to explain it, it will lead to wasted time, bad feeling for both of us and no solution.
It is not logical. I know that is worse what I think that what it really is. I know that. My thoughts of reality are not real. My thoughts are real but they don’t reflect reality.
They don’t reflect reality.
Need to stop them.
Think of all the time you have wasted by thinking.
And that’s why I want to scape from myself. Want to scape from my thoughts, my reality, and I do, I go. But it has to stop, I have to solve this problem, I have to.