I was 15 when it happened. I woke up one morning feeling different. I felt I was in a dream, my body was heavy, everything was more difficult to do. And I was very aware of myself, like if I could see myself from outside. I felt like I knew what was happening, like if I had lived that before on another live. Like these things that you just know because they are, you don’t know why you know them but the fact is that you do. I cried. Felt despaired. I wanted to go back in time. I knew it will follow me forever. And I was right.
I remember changing my relation with everything around me. I started perceiving things differently, unpleasantly. And with my friends, my family. I took distance from everything, I felt I was inside a shell, away from everyone.
I have to do an effort everyday to not cry. I realised that if I want to be sane I need to keep my mind occupied. And my body, I need to do things. And even when I am doing things is very difficult for me to focus cause in my head there is always my voice reminding me that I am not capable.